


THEY SAY ITS MY FAULT, BUT I WANT IT SO MUCH

by jean_huh_kirschnickerdoodle



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Demon!Tsukki, M/M, Smut, Well that escalated quickly, adventures of conveniently carried lube, clumsy blowjobs, supermoon eclipse yo, they gon bang is what im trying to say, tsukki loves him so much oh my god, tsukki them eyes them eyes boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-24 15:06:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4924240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jean_huh_kirschnickerdoodle/pseuds/jean_huh_kirschnickerdoodle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>when the eclipse comes around kei tsukishima knows what he has to do about the friend he has a <strike>big ass</strike> crush on—stay as far away as possible. but yamaguchi has other plans then to let his childhood friend spend his birthday alone, and an impromptu joint  viewing of the eclipse turns into much, <i>much</i> more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	THEY SAY ITS MY FAULT, BUT I WANT IT SO MUCH

**Author's Note:**

> it took me like two weeks to do this from start to finish (which i never do) and honestly im just done with it its yours now im going back to my normal grimey shit

_It’s coming_.

The ‘supermoon eclipse’ was tonight. It’s all everyone was talking about at school, some excitable for this special ‘rare’ event while others just shrugged it off as ‘it’s just an eclipse big fucking deal.’ Kei wasn’t sure where he’d normally land in the spectrum, probably somewhere happily in between. He could appreciate the beauty of his namesake.

But he didn’t need a bunch of flakey, chattering high school students to tell him that the blood moon eclipse was coming.

He knew.

He could _feel_ it.

A sigh slipped from the blond’s lips, devolving into a groan as he stretched his arms above his head, muscles roping down his back tingling with the smallest twinge of pleasurable pain after the stiffness of sitting hunched over on his bed for so long. He had spent the night alone, a rarity for him, and one he enjoyed. His brother and mother had a thing at Akiteru’s school, and profusely apologized that it was today of all days.

Vaguely he hoped his brother had remembered his contacts.

He thought maybe he was supposed to be sad that they were gone. But he had never taken much stock in birthdays, particularly his own, and found himself more relieved than not that the few students that might have been aware of its date had been too caught up in the ‘supermoon’ to remember.

The bed creaked under his weight, knee sinking into the mattress, as he climbed over it and pulled the curtains aside. Amber eyes caught the moon, bright in its fullness despite the way the void had taken a knife to its edge.

_It’s starting._

His eyes continued watching as he mindlessly bit the head off a chocolate stegosaurus. Amber softened as the blond glanced over to the box; it was small, the chocolates a little misshapened, but still. Yamaguchi had remembered, dark eyes narrowing in a smile as he gave him the little box with a ribbon with apologies that he hadn’t done more.

Another creak as he pushed off the bed, grabbing the blankets that had been folded at the foot of the mattress. With some effort, he managed to fit them into the small duffel bag that usually held his clothes for volleyball practice; the edges spilling over the top. He wasn’t really sure why he was bothering to go out; he could easily watch from his window, after all.

Yet, he still was. He always went out during an eclipse. Ever since that time when he’d shouted at his mother to leave…and she listened. It was merely the ill-placed, angry wishes of a child’s tantrum, but he had never forgotten; the pain of the tears he cried as Akiteru held him, the burn of new tears in salt-raw eyes when she returned the next day.

He remembered.

Always remembered.

Always aware.

Tsukishima took a breath, slowly letting the air slip between scarcely parted lips, as he glimpsed in the mirror. It was only the quickest of looks, but it was enough for him to see the black crescent on the edge of his normally bright amber irises.

_Right._

It was surprisingly quiet out, the soft wind purring over his skin as the scuff-scuff of his shoes on pavement seemed to echo against the trees and buildings. Lights were on in businesses, homes, but it seemed as if everyone had made some unspoken agreement to stay indoors. Some sort of superstitious contagion about the blood moon eclipse and its effects on the world, he guessed.

_Well they’re not wrong._

The blond paused, not even fully stopping in his steps, the motion slowing as his eyes caught on a figure in front of a local drugstore. His heart twisted and breath caught in his throat, choking down the butterflies that had hatched in his stomach. Kei would recognize that cowlick anywhere. He was certain he swallowed audibly, the lump in his throat making it difficult, as he urged his feet to walk faster.

Move, move, move.

It’s not like he didn’t want to see Yamaguchi. In fact, the way his skin crawled and tingled and his lungs squeezed made it pretty clear that he very much wanted to see him.

Just…not tonight.

Not now.

Not like this.

_Seven, eight, nine, ten…_

He breathed slowly as he counted the seconds against the pitter-patter of his heart, hammering away in his chest. He puffed out relief when there was no ‘Tsukki!’ to be heard. And if that was a twinge of disappointment, he chose to ignore it.

It was better this way.

_Release._

Shoving down whatever he was feeling—and refusing to acknowledge what he already knew was there—Kei took a path through the trees. He had been here more times than he could count, with great frequency after he had discovered the truth about his brother. It was his sanctuary.

The path took him away from the town, away from the houses and the stores and the schools. Away from the team, from his family, from Yamaguchi. It cleared away, sitting above the town in a way that let him see the stars but yet if he glanced down he could see the speckled sea of habitation below.

It was his between.

He breathed, the sweetness of not having to be on guard, be aware, _be_ anything seeping into his skin. There was a chill, small bumps threatening to push up under his flesh, but he relished it. Relished the chance to merely exist.

It had taken longer than he’d thought to get here, or maybe the eclipse was further along than he’d first guessed. By the time he’d unfurled one of the blankets, wrapping the second around his shoulders, the moon was already starting to rust where it hadn’t been eclipsed.

_It really is beautiful, at least._

He shuffled in his bag for his headphones, placing them on his ears and letting the music flow into him. It took him away, let him float into this world of moon and stars and void where he could just be himself, and he reveled in the chances when they came.

It was tranquility.

So much so he barely heard his name over the sounds dancing in his ears.

_No… Please no…_

Slender fingers shook as they pulled the headphones from his ears, sitting upright; taut with tension and just a taste of panic.

“Tsukki!” Dark eyes smiled down at Kei, a little breathless and even in the dark of the rusted moon the blond could pick out freckles.

“Yama…guchi…what…” His voice threatened to catch, eyes widened in panic. What was he doing here? Why here? Why now?

Why _tonight_?

“Uh, I saw you in town. I called out for you but I guess you couldn’t hear me. So uh,” Yamaguchi took a couple steps closer, dark fingers scratching the back of his head, “I followed you?”

Tsukishima was hunched over now, fingers twisted around the blanket and resting in his lap. He was looking up from under his brow, the rim of his glasses altering his view. Better to appear normal; distant, even better.

“Why?”

The brunet only smiled, the plastic bag crinkling as he set it down beside the blanket. “Because it’s your birthday. Nobody should be alone on their birthday.” Tsukishima didn’t reply, lips tight and brows furrowed as he looked up at him. “…Unless…it’s what you wanted…?”

Kei couldn’t help the twinge of guilt as Yamaguchi’s eyes flicked away from him, weight shifting uncertainly from foot to foot. A small sigh escaped his lips, and he turned his eyes away.

It was fine.

It was okay.

It’d be alright as long as he didn’t let Tadashi see his eyes, right? Right. It’d be fine. He’d be fine. They’d be fine.

Just…be aware.

“You can stay.”

Yamaguchi perked up, brows lifting and lips pulling back into a smile. Tsukishima couldn’t help but warm, thinking he reminded him of a puppy. The brunet settled in beside him, pulling his knees to his chest and turning his eyes toward the moon, red haze leaving little light on the world below.

“You got up here really fast, Tsukki. You’re really amazing! Do you come up here a lot?” Yamaguchi was looking at him, dark eyes on him.

“Sometimes. Came here since I was a kid.” He refused to look at him, eyes flicking to the corner of his eyes but avoiding any real contact. There was a pause, and Kei couldn’t help wanting to run. He could feel the building tension, feel Yamaguchi watching at him, knew that he knew how he was intentionally not looking at him.

“It’s pretty amazing isn’t it?”

Tsukishima didn’t respond, eyes looking over Yamaguchi’s profile and humming out his agreement.

Tadashi turned to him excitedly, lips pulled back in a deep grin. “And how cool is it that it’s on your…birth…day…” His smile faltered, brows furrowing just a touch above his eyes; narrowed with focus.

_Fuck._

“Tsukki your—”

The blond abruptly turned his face away, face twisting up as he internally berated himself for his own stupidity. His own weakness.

Silence hung heavy between them, suffocating.

“Tsukki…look at me.”

“Why?” He didn’t have to look to know the face the brunet was making. He knew his dark eyes were determined and his lips pressed together, brows knitted together, and freckled cheeks just slightly puffed out.

It was a face that was inarguable.

And adorable.

“Tsukki. Look at me.”

_No room for discussion, huh? When did you become so strong?_

He hesitated, eyes closed and he wished he could will this all away. It was a piss-poor wish, because he knew if he really wanted to—he could. And that was why he kept his eyes closed, lingering on the last dregs of this friendship, dreading the knowledge that they’d drip away as his lids cracked open.

Tsukishima didn’t need a mirror to know. He’d seen it before; why would this time be any different.

Eyes once amber gold were now dark; a deep rusted-red, a black crescent bleeding into the edge. A perfect reflection for the imperfect pendant in the void above them.

Dark eyes widened as they looked into those eclipses, soft lips parting. “Tsukki—your eyes!” Tadashi’s voice rose, an exclamation as his fingers instinctually reached toward the source of his wonder.

Kei panicked, eyes wide and fingers fast as he caught Yamaguchi’s wrist within them, holding tightly. His own trembled, squeezing tighter until the brunet’s fingers curled and his lips tightened in pain.

“What the fuck are you doing—who said it was okay to touch me?”

_Stop._

_Please_

_Just shut up._

_Don’t._

Tsukishima swallowed roughly, eyes hardening as he looked into Tadashi’s; black in the night. He didn’t want this. He never wanted this. He had always been alone; always kept his distance. It was easier that way, easier not to slip up. Easier not to influence anyone.

But…Yamaguchi had never let him do that. Never let him stay away. Never was discouraged by his stoic exterior or his particularly strong salt. Hell, the brunet had gone even further, supporting him and bragging on him because he knew Kei just never could do it for himself.

He had come to cherish Yamaguchi.

As a friend.

As more.

He was…happy with him. He couldn’t lose him. This is why he had tried so hard to stay in control, to stay aware, no matter how exhausting. Because Tadashi was the one person he couldn’t—didn’t want—to lose.

“Tsukki your eyes…” The brunet looked up to the sky, back to the blond, to the sky, and back again. A soft smile spread across his face, eyes lighting up. “It’s the same.”

His smile only grew, eyes narrowing as it pushed into them and despite the pain Tsukishima knew he was causing him, he remained relaxed in his grip. He was…excited.

In awe.

Slender fingers slowly loosened, slipping away entirely, leaving behind their ghost in the form of purpling flesh. “You’re…not afraid…?”

Yamaguchi pressed his lips together, still smiling at the corners, and tilted his head. He looked on the verge of bouncing. “Should I be?” The blond didn’t answer, only staring in disbelief. “What’s it mean?”

_Is…is he dense?_

“It means I’m not like you. Yama…I’m not human.” He wanted to yell and scream, wanted everything to fall away, wanted to fall into the void above him.

Wanted this all to be a lie.

But then there were hands on his cheeks and warmth on his mouth and his heart had made a home in his throat. The whisper of silk over against lips and dark eyes smiling softly, so close they were a blur, could only mean he had been kissed but…

That couldn’t possibly be...

“Yama…” The word was shaky, his eyes wide and cheeks warm in the chill air. He’d never—they’d never—his mind was struggling to even grasp the concept of Yamaguchi kissing him.

Maybe it was a dream, after all.

“Will you tell me about it?” There was a softness in Tadashi’s voice that he’d only heard once, after they saw Akiteru across the court. It was different than him being timid, or his smug bragging; he thought it was a side that he reserved especially for him. A complete, unadulterated openness.

The blond nodded slowly, warm hands slipping away from his face. He turned back to look at the sky, and held open one side of the blanket. Yamaguchi took it, scooting closer and pulling his side closed around them.

There was a stillness between them; Tsukishima hesitating and Yamaguchi waiting, but not rushing. The blond’s shoulders slumped as he let out a slow breath, eyes turned toward the void.

“My dad’s not a human.”

More stillness, Kei closing his eyes softly against the warmth of Yamaguchi’s shoulder pressed to his own, knees knocked together.

“What is he?” The brunet urged him on, voice still as open and accepting as it ever was; a strength in it that Tsukishima thought wasn’t there when they met.

“He’s…a demon...” His words weren’t much more than a mumble, tumbling over his tongue and falling from his lips.

He glanced over, red eyes wary and expecting to see something—fear, disbelief, disgust, _something—_ but instead only saw the same eyes that he always saw watching him, the same warmth, the same kindness, laced with awe and curiosity.

“What about your mom? Is she a demon too?” Yamaguchi’s voice was excited.

Tsukishima’s air caught in his lungs, a subtle squeeze that left him breathless, and he slowly shook his head. “No, Mom’s…she’s normal.”

He clenched his hands tight, knuckles surely white but it wasn’t enough. It didn’t stop the trembling or the pain or the memories. Then there was a shuffling beneath the blanket and a warmth against his fist, soft fingers urging his open and gently intertwining them. The brunet didn’t squeeze, simply let their hands rest together, ease slipping between them.

“Well,” Tadashi smiled softly, eyes averted as the words tumbled out awkwardly, “I like different.”

The blond’s mind stuttered, cheeks heating in the slightest as he swallowed down the words. He couldn’t accept it at face value, couldn’t let himself believe he meant it in the way he wanted.

“He’s—I’m—a De’sidus. Desire ‘from the stars.’”

Yamaguchi blinked, watching him closely, lips pursed questioningly. “Desire? Like…an Incubus?”

The blond chewed his lip, shaking his head. “Same family.” His hand trembled still, but he couldn’t help relaxing as the brunet’s thumb whispered along the back of his. “De’sidus…we’re more about influence than wish granting. It’s like…”

He paused, pulling his knees to his chin and letting their hands fall between them; still entwined.

“Most of the time it’s like if we try, we can push people into going through with something they already want. Whether it’s good or bad; even as far as urging someone to kill. Or jump. It’s like the voice in the back of your head, silencing your inhibitions.”

“But…?”

Tsukishima chewed his lip. He wondered, would it be this hard to tell someone if it wasn’t Yamaguchi?

“But as the moon wanes, our powers they…they get stronger. The closer to a new moon it is, the more influential we become. The further in the cycle it is…well…it gets to where we can influence others with _our_ desires.” Kei kept quiet, giving Yamaguchi the chance to ask questions—or run.

“And you’ve always been like this? Since you popped out?”

A small smile tugged at his lips and he shook he head softly. “Not always, but I was pretty young when my powers started to come on strong. It was…scary. My mom…”

“Was she afraid? I mean…didn’t she have to go through it with Akiteru?”

Tsukishima nodded. “Yeah, though, he’s a lot more selfless than I could ever be. I was a brat…and I made my mom leave. It was only a day…but I was so scared. I think, maybe, Akiteru was scared, too. After that, I guess I’ve always been more conscious of it all.”

“You know…I think you’re wrong.” The brunet’s voice was quiet, Tsukishima humming questioningly. “I don’t think you’re any less selfless than your brother. I mean…that’s why you keep your distance, isn’t it? Because…you didn’t want to affect others?”

His eyes widened, lips twisting together and he felt a tingling in his cheeks that threatened to spill all his buried feelings. He couldn’t say he hated keeping his distance; being stoic wasn’t a front. But Yamaguchi was the only one who had ever forced his way through that particular barrier.

“You’re a good person, Tsukki. Just like your brother.”

Kei didn’t—couldn’t—say anything. He was certain if he tried, he would just end up crying as Yamaguchi somehow continued to say the things he’d always wanted someone to.

“Do your eyes always do that?” Tadashi’s face scrunched up, as if to say there’s no way I wouldn’t have noticed that all this time.

The blond breathed out a laugh, shaking his head. “Only during a lunar eclipse. Akiteru has to wear contacts since he can’t avoid people as easily.”

“Hrm, so then, eclipses are special or something, right?”

_Clever._

Tsukishima hummed his confirmation. “Yeah, they are. During an eclipse, well, I can make people do whatever I want.”

There was a heavy silence between them, Yamaguchi’s thumb stilling and his eyes pulling away from Tsukishima for the first time during their conversation—as if the blanket was suddenly exceedingly interesting.

“Have…” His voice was quiet, almost a whisper. “Have you ever…on me before?”

“ _No!_ ” He hadn’t meant to yell, brows furrowed as he turned toward Yamaguchi. Their knees knocked together and fingers slipped apart just long enough for the blond to close his hand around the others. “I’d never—I—not you…never you…”

His body tingled, an aching crawl beneath his skin as he bit the inside of his lip hard enough to pull blood to the surface; the iron tang assaulting his tongue as he swallowed down the way every fiber of his being was aching to pull on Yamaguchi, to make him do what he wanted.

He wanted him to stay. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to touch him. He wanted to make him his.

He wanted.

Want.

Want.

Want.

He forcibly pulled back from Tadashi, turning away.

“I could never forgive myself if I…”

After a moment, Yamaguchi scooted closer to him again, slipping his fingers back into the blond’s and laying his head against his shoulder. “I’m glad. I’d be really sad to find out my feelings weren’t my own.”

Tsukishiima turned to him, eyes wide, irises more red than not. “Yama…”

“Wait!” He abruptly lifted his head, dark hair bouncing, as if he had an epiphany. “You and Akiteru are demons, right? Is that why you’re both so tall?”

The blond only stared at him for a moment, taking in his sincerity, before laughter bubbled up from his chest and spilled from his lips. “You—” He couldn’t finish, genuine mirth still slipping off his tongue, Tadashi smiling and joining him until the two were a little breathless.

“Thank you for telling me, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi’s voice was serious and when Kei turned to look at him, smile still on his face, he found soft lips pressed against his again.

The blond’s eyes were still widened when the other pulled back. “Yama…why…?”

Tadashi smiled softly, then turned away, cheeks flushed under dark skin and slipping both his hands into his lap, folding in on himself. “Didn’t I already say it? I like you, Tsukki. I probably shouldn’t have—”

Tsukishima didn’t give him a chance to apologize, to spiral into his own self-doubt, before crashing their lips together. It was clumsy and hard, teeth clacking and lips bruising and the blond’s momentum pushing the other to the ground and he falling after. He abruptly broke the kiss at the sound of Tadashi’s surprised hum against his lips, glasses falling ungracefully onto the brunet’s face before tumbling to the ground beside his head.

Brown eyes were wide as they stared up into eclipse ones, lips still open in an ‘o’ of surprise that matched Kei’s expression, albeit the blond’s was doused in panic.

“Yama I’m sorry I shouldn’t have!” The blond’s words pushed together, tripping over each other before tumbling from his lips.

Tadashi blinked, lips slowly curling up as the cogs in his head began to function properly again. “I—it’s okay! Tsukki, I’m not mad.” He sat up, holding the blond’s glasses out to him. “I’m happy!”

Tsukishima said nothing, blood-moon eyes studying the brunet for a moment before nodding. He reached out and took the glasses, slipping them on and moving away from Yamaguchi. He wasn't sure if this was better or worse than accidentally using his powers.

More embarrassing, for sure.

Yamaguchi blushed, looking away and smiling softly. “Your eyes really are beautiful, Tsukki. I’m glad I got to see them like this.”

The blond shrugged, trying to feign nonchalance as he lie on his back, eyes on the eclipse above him. “You’d see it again in 2033.”

“Mm, maybe,” Tadashi lifted up the blanket, scooting under it to lay flat on his back beside the taller male. “But that’s just the next supermoon. Who knows if it’ll be, well, like this.” He vaguely pointed to the sky, the smallest sliver of red remaining in the sky.

“Et luna in sanguine.”

“Latin?” Yamaguchi looked over at him curiously, the blond nodding without turning toward him. His smile was evident as he spoke again. “You’re really smart, Tsukki.”

Kei pressed his lips together, refusing to look at the other and knowing that if he did his blush would become visible. There was a shuffle beside him and he turned to see the brunet digging into his pocket. He watched curiously as Tadashi materialized a pair of earbuds.

“We could share..? I know you like listening to your music.”

The blond nodded, slowly taking one of the earbuds and plugging the cord into his phone before pushing play again. The shorter male settled in beside him again, close enough that Tsukishima could feel his warmth beneath the shared blanket, and soft fingers slipping against his, hooking around them.

“There’s something I don’t get,” By the time Yamaguchi spoke, Tsukishima had lost count of how many songs had played, and a sliver of bright white was starting to peek through above them. “If you guys can make people do what you want, why didn’t Akiteru you know, just make them let him on the team?”

It was a question he’d asked himself enough times before, remembering how broken his brother had been, the way he’d cried in his room after Tsukishima found out.

“I think he wanted the team to win more than he wanted play. And…I think maybe it was for me, too. Because what good would it have done for my big brother to be on a shitty, losing team.” He shrugged lazily. “Pathetic, really.”

Yamaguchi smiled. “You don’t really believe that.”

He didn’t.

Quiet settled over them again. Tsukishima thought it’d have been nice—laying together, holding hands, watching the eclipse—if it wasn’t for the way Yamaguchi kept squirming. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen the brunet so antsy in all the years they’d known each other. He was about to snap at him when the shorter male spoke.

“Tsukki…um…can I kiss you again?” Yamaguchi had pushed himself up onto his elbow, dark hair falling into his face as he looked down at the blond—whose cheeks were most certainly flushed.

Tsukishima covered his face with his arm, turning away slightly and mumbling. “You can do whatever you want.”

He thought he saw Yamaguchi smile above him in the breath between moving his arm and capturing his lips with his own. They were so soft and warm, brushing against his and sucking the breath from him. He inhaled sharply as a hot wetness swiped over the seam of his mouth. Gingerly, he parted his lips for the brunet.

The instant he felt Tadashi’s tongue slip against his own his world stopped and spun all at once. The earth fell out from under him, ocean swallowing him up and he couldn’t escape or breathe or stop it.

And he didn’t want to.

There was a weight on his chest as Yamaguchi shifted more onto him, nose bumping the rim of his glasses before they figured out the proper angle for their faces, mouths hungering for the other. Their lips worked together, brushing and pressing and devouring silken, kiss-reddened flesh. It was sloppy and needy the way their tongues twisted and rolled against each other, desperately seeking every drop of taste they could lap from within the other’s mouth.

The far-off sound of music danced around them, earbuds tossed aside and forgotten, notes deafened by the shuffling of their clothes and breathy hums that the cool night threatened to swallow. Slender fingers stuttered as dark, silky hair twisted around them; Kei couldn’t even be sure when he’d moved his hand to Yamaguchi’s hair, when he’d decided to hold him there, close and heavy and hot against his lips.

The blond shifted, legs parting on their own, knees gingerly pressing against Tadashi’s hips. When had he moved between his thighs? Tsukishima couldn’t remember, mind enrapt in a kiss-induced haze.

And then it cleared with all the force of a downburst—eyes snapping open and air choking into his lungs as a jolt of pleasure pulsed through him. And then again; a small, heady breath shuddering against his lips as the rough jean-on-jean _zehrp_ echoed in his ears—hard bulge pushing against his own. Tsukishima shivered as fingers—warm, so fucking warm—slipped under the hem of his shirt and danced up his side.

“Tada—ah—” He breathed out against lips ghosting over his own.

“Tsukki…” The brunet’s eyes were dark, heavy but so aware, fingers grazing Kei’s ribs, hips slowly rolling forward to pull a stuttered breath from them both. “I’ve just—I’ve wanted to do this.” His lips pulled along the corners of Tsukishima’s, pressing over his jaw line and nosing into his neck.

“I’ve wanted to do this for so long. I’ve wanted to know what you felt like against my fingertips, what you tasted like,” his lips brushed over the blond’s neck, teeth nibbling on his ear before his words slipped out into the dwindling space between them. “The sounds you’d make.”

A dark thumb brushed over Tsukishima’s nipple, the blond gasping, chest arching and hips opening against Yamaguchi’s.

Kei couldn’t say anything, couldn’t stop him, as the brunet slowly shifted down, lips brushing along his exposed ribs, dancing over his naval, before suckling a trail along his hipbones—a jolting purple blossoming in their wake.

He couldn’t stop him.

And he didn’t want to.

_Pop._

_Whir._

Tsukishima’s attention snapped back to reality with an almost disorienting abruptness, eyes looking down over the rim of his glasses at the mass of black between his legs. He shivered as fingertips slipped under the elastic of his boxer-briefs and Yamaguchi nosed against the bulge beneath the cotton.

“Yama wait—you don’t have to do that.” His fingers were reaching toward him when dark eyes looked up at him from under heavy bangs—pleading laced with voracity

The brunet’s lips pulled back in a smile, fingers twitching with anticipation. “This is what _I_ want. Sorry but…let me be selfish just this once.”

Tsukishima didn’t protest or refuse—not like he could after that. Not like he wanted to in the first place.

Tentatively, Tadashi pulled his underwear enough to free his erection. The blond swallowed hard, stomach now residing in his throat, and rest his forearm over his eyes—mostly obscuring his view. Mostly. He shivered as lips brushed over the head of his cock, sticky precum smearing over them.

And then a choking moan pushed from his lips, breath hitched in his throat as his cock hit the back of Yamaguchi’s. His chest constricted and his thighs squeezed tight, a dark hand pressed against them keeping him from suffocating the brunet between. Amber-again eyes watched as a pink, wet tongue slicked over his shaft, lapping away any evidence of precum before the head disappeared between Tadashi’s lips once again.

He bit his lips, heat twisting in him as he squeezed his eyes shut. Yamaguchi was clumsy, tongue doing most of the work and his lips too loose around his cock. It was agonizing, just enough to make him want more but not enough—not nearly fucking enough.

“Ah—teeth—” Slender fingers pulled Yamaguchi back instinctually, the brunet looking at him apologetically—lips swollen and wet with more than saliva. “You kinda suck at this.”

Tadashi looked way sheepishly. “I uh…I have an idea.” Hovering over Tsukishima, he grabbed the bag he’d brought with him, digging through it loudly. And then he presented a bottle of clear liquid to the blond.

“Personal lubricant…”

Personal lubricant.

_Personal lubricant._

Kei’s eyes widened, lips opening and no sound coming out as his ears and cheeks lit up. Brows furrowed, he pushed the bottle back into Yamaguchi’s hand. “What—you—why—why do you even have that?”

This time it was Tadashi’s turn to blush, averting his eyes from Tsukishima. “Please don’t ask me that.” As if it wasn’t the most awkward thing in the world, the brunet popped the cap with a click. “So…can I…?”

He was pretty sure his head hadn’t stopped spinning, but he couldn’t deny that he’d wanted to do this with Yamaguchi for…longer than he really wanted to admit. Swallowing down his pride, his embarrassment, his fear, he pushed his underwear and pants down, legs still open around the brunet’s body.

He closed his eyes as he felt a warm, wet fingertip against his entrance, torso quivering in response. Warmth spread over his thigh as a hand slowly moved over it, back and forth. Tsukishima shivered at the feeling of a finger gently massaging his entrance, thumb circling his taint.

“Tsukki…breathe out.”

He tensed before slowly exhaling the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding—only to have it replaced by a sharp choking gasp at the sudden intrusion as Yamaguchi pushed a finger into him. He didn’t move, simply waited, finger inside him.

It felt…weird.

Really weird.

Was it supposed to feel this weird?

“Yama it—ah—” He didn’t have a chance to say anything, Yamaguchi dipping down between his legs and taking his cock into his mouth. It was warm and wet and distracted him from the finger in his ass.

And then he moved. It was slow, a gentle rubbing inside him, pressing against his walls and circling his just inside his entrance. He could feel himself heating up, chest burning and core twisting and tightening. Tsukishima couldn’t focus on anything, not the feel of a clumsy tongue against his cock or a finger in his ass or his heart pounding in the base of his ears or the way that he was struggling to breathe as his body ached for something more than it was getting.

“Tsukki, breathe out again.”

Amber eyes looked at him again, slowly nodding. He’d do anything to make Yamaguchi look like he did then, pupils blown and cheeks flushed and lips speckled with saliva, his free hand palming himself through his jeans.

_And exhale...—_

“—Nh—” His eyes squeezed shut as another finger slipped into him.

“Did that hurt?”

He shook his head harshly. “I’m fine.”

And he was.

It was different this time, with two fingers. Tadashi thrust into him, opening his fingers and pulling against his inner walls, relaxing and massaging and preparing him.

He knew that was it. He was preparing him for something more.

For his cock.

Tsukishima’s own cock jolted at the thought, ass clenching around fingers inside him. He didn’t linger on the fact that thinking about Yamaguchi fucking his ass got him excited.

Really excited.

Impatiently excited.

But he didn’t have a chance to be impatient before a jolt of pleasure burst through him, breath hitching and hips bucking as Yamaguchi crooked his fingers inside him.

“There?”

Tsukishima nodded, fingers clenching as he couldn’t bring himself to look at him. He pushed on it again, pulling a strangled moan from the blond, heavy pants stumbling after, wet breath puffing from his lips. His body shivered and ached, heat coursing through his veins chasing away the chill that nipped at his skin.

“How—ah—” Kei swallowed hard, arm over his face as he tried to control the sounds; easier said than done when Yamaguchi was unraveling him so deftly. “How are you so clumsy with your mouth but so good with your fingers? Really good.”

Yamaguchi paused, sitting up and blushing again, mumbling his response. “Please don’t ask me that.”

He had said that before, when he’d asked about the why he had the lube in the first place.

_Oh._

**_Oh._ **

“Um Tsukki…can I…” Yamaguchi was squirming between his legs, both hands pushing against what had to be an unbelievable uncomfortable bulge by now.

_Yes!_

_Please!_

_Fuck me now!_

Tsukishima swallowed hard, swallowing down his thoughts and wants and reining in his desires. He couldn’t ask Yamaguchi to do this, there was too much risk. But he sure as fuck wasn’t going to say no when he finally got around to it.

“Yeah.”

_Pop-whir._

“Haah—” Yamaguchi let out a breathy moan as he stroked himself—cock more than happy to be free and getting attention—to spread lube over the length of his shaft. “Ah—I…I don’t have any condoms…”

_You’re saying this now?_

“It’s fine.” Kei tugged on the hem of Tadashi’s shirt gingerly. “It’s fine if it’s you.”

“Tsukki!” Without any warning, he nearly dove onto Tsukishima, crashing their lips together.

The blond moaned into the kiss, hips shivering as he felt a hard cock slicking between his cheeks, brushing over his entrance and sliding against the underside of his balls. He thought this would be enough; he could come from just this much.

“Kei—” Yamaguchi breathed against his lips, the sound of his name making the blond’s cock jolt. “I can’t wait anymore, sorry.”

The brunet’s face was buried in his neck when he felt him line his cock up against his entrance, _slowly_ pushing inside of him.

“—A-ah—” He couldn’t help the strangled sound coming from his lips, swallowed by the long, low almost mewl from Yamaguchi.

He had expected Tadashi to immediately thrust into him, fuck him into the ground with all the excitement of the first time, but he didn’t. He didn’t move, forehead against his shoulder and breath heavy between them. Slowly he lifted his head, dark eyes meeting Tsukishima’s.

“Tsukki…your eyes…”

The blond glanced to the moon behind them, full and unbelievably bright as it reflected over the earth. He knew they must be the same, amber hidden behind a sheen of silver, giving similar effect to a tapetum lucidum.

“They’re gorgeous, Tsukki. You’re gorgeous.” He was smiling, that same dumb smile he always gave him.

“Yama…just move.” His voice was petulant, lips pressed together as he tugged on the brunet’s shirt again.

“Sorry, Tsukki.” Tadashi smiled, faltering only when it was swallowed up by the other’s lips as he leaned down and captured them in a kiss.

He didn’t break the kiss as he slowly pulled his hips back before rolling them forward again. Tsukishima inhaled sharply, swallowing down the little and not-so-little moans vibrating against his lips, moans that weren’t his. Moans that growled and whined and kept spilling against his lips. Moans that were serving to spur him on.

Tsukishima shuddered at the way his entrance stretched, the way Tadashi filled him, opened him and pushed against his walls. He could feel his ass sucking and pulling the cock back inside of his body, desperate to milk him dry, begging to be filled and overfilled and filled again.

“Haah—Yama that—” His words were muffled against Yamaguchi’s lips, cheek, jaw.

_'I’ve wanted to do this for so long.'_

His body shook and shuddered as hands gripped his hips, leveraging them from the blanket and pushing into him, Tadashi’s movements slow but fluid, a persistent push and pull.

_'I’ve wanted to know what you felt like against my fingertips, what you tasted like.'_

Tsukishima’s entire body jolted, fingers twisting into Yamaguchi’s hair as his tongue swiped over the shell of his ear, fingers squeezing his hips to keep the new angle. The angle that left starbursts behind his eyes and his throat tight and the coiling heat in the base of his spine twisting tighter and tighter and ready to burst.

_'The sounds you’d make.'_

“F-fu—ah—Yama—” His legs shook and trembled, tremors coursing through his thighs as they squeezed to the brunet’s sides. Harsh grunts and choked back moans were slipping from his lips—red and raw from worrying teeth. He couldn’t stop them, barely able to regain breath as Tadashi pushed slow and intent against that spot that made him feel so good—drip, drip, drop—adding to the pool of pleasure before pulling away and leaving him begging for more.

_'Let me be selfish just this once.'_

He wrapped his arms around Yamaguchi’s shoulders, fingers gripping into the back of his shirt and into his hair. Shaking ankles crossed, pulling the brunet down into him, holding him tight to his body.

“Ah—Tsukki—it’s so good inside you—” He nipped at his ear, lips pressing against the flesh behind it. “You’re amazing. Amazing. So amazing, Tsukki.”

Kei swallowed hard, body hot and trembling and he just couldn’t fucking take it anymore. It was too much—too good—too everything he’d ever wanted.

“Yama I—fuck—faster—make me come—”

The brunet didn’t hesitate—and was that a chuckle in his ear?—pushing harder into him, moving his hips faster. His thrusts were shallow, staying pressed close, and he slipped a hand between their bodies. Dark fingers wrapped around Tsukishima’s neglected cock, pulsing in his palm, and began to fervently stroke him.

“Ah—this—Tsukki I’m not go—aah—haah—”

Kei shivered; he could feel his cock pulsing inside him, feel his ass clenching around him and knew he was just begging him to come, begging him to keep making those noises.

“Nn—Tadashi—I l—Ta—Tadashi—” The name spilled from his lips, tangled within low, shaking grunts and raspy moans as his body trembled and his cock pulsed, cum splurting over their chests.

Yamaguchi looked at the palm of his hand, then to Tsukishima, a shit eating grin spread over his face.

_Fucking proud._

Then the smile twisted, his brows pulling up and together and his eyes closing as he pushed hard into him, hips trembling against Tsukishima’s ass, slow thrusts deep inside him.

“Ah—Kei—mn—Tsukki—Tuskki—Tsu..” He continued to mutter the name as his body curled over him, hips slowly moving as hot cum filled Kei, dripping out around Yamaguchi’s cock and down onto the blanket below them.

Heavy breaths filled the air, slender fingers gripping into dark hair as Tsukishima lifted the brunet’s face and pulled him to his own—lips crashing together and his tongue forcing its way into a welcoming mouth.

Hesitantly, Yamaguchi broke the kiss, slowly lifting himself from Tsukishima and carefully pulling out. He couldn’t help looking, swallowing hard at the way his cum dripped from Kei’s ass. He had to pull his eyes away before he was ready for round two. Pulling his pants and underwear back into place, he gripped the blond’s thigh, gently kissing his knee.

“Are you okay?”

Kei snorted, grabbing Tadashi’s wrist and pulling him ungracefully down onto his chest. The brunet shifted, sliding to his side and letting their legs tangle. They kissed slowly, gently tugging at lips before Yamaguchi let out a content sigh against them. He moved to lie against the blond’s shoulder.

“Here.” Tsukishima held out the earbuds that had been previously tossed to the side and pulled the blanket back into place over them. Yamaguchi was snuggled against his chest, turned toward the sky, when the words slipped unbidden from his lips. “Please…stay with me.”

He swallowed hard, tension wiring through his body. It was his own selfish wish, one made without use of his powers. One Yamaguchi could easily refuse.

The brunet turned toward him, leaning in and kissing his tension away, smiling against his lips.

“I never thought to do any less.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> comments sustain me, so do that thing


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